


It was us, it was always us

by swenvxp



Category: Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-16 22:54:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29707782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swenvxp/pseuds/swenvxp
Summary: Greys anatomy but... gay. Meredith and Addison's first interaction since Meredith left LA for Seattle tp start her new life. Addison isn't ready to let her go.. (early merder plot turned meddison)
Relationships: Meredith Grey/Addison Montgomery, Meredith Grey/Derek Shepherd
Comments: 31
Kudos: 47





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first greys fit... reviews welcomed.
> 
> Enjoy loves!  
> \- Bea :)

From the moment Dr Montgomery watched her wife gaze up into the eyes of a tall, dark and handsome man as he adjusted the collar and ran his hands through that long, mousey hair, she knew that she couldn’t leave Seattle until Meredith was back in her arms, back embedded into her life in all of the right ways. Unlike six months ago when everything she knew, crumbled. 

******************************************************************************************************  
“Mer. Meredith PLEASE don’t do this. W-we can get through this we are Meredith and Addison please!”  
Addison all but screamed as she stumbled after her wife, pulling on a discarded piece of clothing as she practically chased her down the staircase. 

“get out of my house.” Meredith states firmly in a quiet, numb tone. Stopping dead in her tracks in the foyer, standing between the staircase, and the front door. 

Addison stopped then. She clung to the banister as if her life depended on it, because her livelihood sure did. Perching on the bottom of the staircase, mascara tracks staining her cheeks and her figure clad in nothing but the t-shirt of the man she had been cheating with only an hour before had forgotten in her bedroom in an attempt to escape as fast as possible when faced with a small but terrifying Meredith Montgomery – Grey. 

With a pointed finger she yelled in a pained voice “NO. I am standing- I am standing my ground. I'm not leaving, this is my house too and we can figure this out...”  
After a choked sob Addison held her breath and whispered “Meredith...” 

And for a split-second, Meredith broke her gaze with the stone floors and looked up to meet her wife's eyes, as they stared longingly at each other Addison thought she had gotten through to her and breathed a deep sigh of relief. 

The break was short lived, as all of a sudden Meredith was moving, lunging towards her and wrapping her small hands around Addisons bare arms, pulling her desperately towards the door, and all but throwing her out of it before slamming the heavy oak shut in her face. 

Her small frame fell back against the door, shoulders slumped and her tired eyes fell closed, exhausted from her shift at the hospital and then, this. As the banging of her wife’s palms from the other side was all she could hear, that and the rain battering against the glass panes of their windows followed by Addison’s incoherent string of “it was a mistake...a one-time thing” and “I love Yous” currently being yelled through the door, Meredith was almost at breaking point. 

All Dr Meredith Montgomery – Grey could take was about forty-five seconds of the pained begging's until she crumpled in on herself and turned, twisting the door handle and allowing a sobbing redhead in drenched clothes to stride forward and collapse into her, she felt manicured nails rake through her hair and couldn’t help the sigh she released as she felt Addison burying into her neck, whispering painful ‘I'm sorrys’ into her ear. 

It took every ounce of strength she could muster to Prise the women off of her and put distance between them.  
The foyer was filled with nothing more than fast, heavy breaths as the lovers stood, inches away from each other. Broken expressions splayed across their faces, one mixed with anger, and the other with guilt. 

They should scream curses and cry their eyes out and probably throw a vase or two, it is so abundantly clear what they should do to relieve the weight of their collapsing marriage and yet all they could bring themselves to do is reach across the space between them, clutch at each other's shirts and meld their bodies together, pieces fitting together all too perfectly.  
Meredith let Addison take the lead. Allowing herself to be groped and kissed senseless. Nudged back against the wall just before the staircase, her own hands pinned above her head by the taller woman who was towering over her. Her shirt that stuck sweatily to her slim physique being yanked above her head and tossed carelessly aside before their hands intertwined and she was tugged upstairs to their room. 

Finally finding her footing, Meredith kicked the door open to their master bedroom and almost tripped making her way to their shared, queen size bed. Flopping down on it and pulling her wife atop of her, shuffling back against the sheets, splaying flat as Addison worshipped her figure. Peppering remorse filled, apologetic kisses along her prominent collarbones and down her torso.  
All of Meredith’s worries, pain and anger were slipping, slipping away. Finally finding an ounce of relief from her swarming mind until she writhed in pleasure, turning her head to bury into the pillow. Where she usually was met with the smell of lily or Lavendar or even jasmine when Addison used a different shampoo, this time she was met with an oaky, musky scent that was so typically the scent of a ten-dollar bottle of men's aftershave. 

As if burned by a flame, Meredith's eyes pried open and she jerked back, pushing the red heads roaming hands from her thighs, a wave of nausea passing over her as she stumbled from the bed, her mind roaming with images of her wife and some guy in their bed. 

Addison almost tumbled to the floor at the sudden movement, she gripped the bed post to steady herself and looked up in confusion, tucking her hair nervously behind her ears, something she hadn’t done since her first date with Meredith all those years ago.  
She watched as her wife strode further and further from the bed, took a hold of the door handle and paused momentarily, her back to her and muttered “you take the house, i'll find something for the night.” 

***************************************************************************************************  
And that, ladies and gentlemen, was the last image of her wife that Dr Addison Montgomery – Grey (yes...still Grey) had. That was, of course, until about thirty seconds ago as she strutted over to the couple seeming to be leaving work to go home together.  
With a cocky but certainly unsure smile, Addison stuck out her hand  
“I’m Addison Montgomery – Grey, and you must be the guy who’s been screwing my wife.”


	2. chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> back with the angst, but also a little fluff. Plus we meet Derek... ENJOY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there were so many positive comments with the first chapter, I hope this one doesn't disappoint. Review and suggest anything you wanna see.. ENJOY!!
> 
> \- bea :)

“I’m Addison Montgomery – Grey, and _you_ must be the guy who’s been screwing my wife”

Standing awkwardly, in the loud bustle of Seattle Grace Hospital, was a trio of dumbfounded looks. Addison’s sharp blue eyes were jumping between the face of the woman who was both her ex-lover and current wife, and the seemingly distraught third party whose eyes were boring holes into Meredith’s head.

Meredith looked so small in comparison to the other two who seemed to tower over her and crowd her space. The literal definition of stuck between a rock and a hard place… though she wasn’t too sure which was the rock and which was the hard place. LA _had_ been the hard place, leaving her disaster of a marriage behind- that wasn’t accurate, the _entire_ marriage wasn’t a disaster, just the final year or so, before that they were… ridiculously and unapologetically happy

. ******* FB***********

Dropping her keys to the counter and kicking off her shoes in the foyer, Meredith trudged through the hallway. She was hit with the smell of pizza before she even arrived at the kitchen along with the sound of ‘I’m yours’ playing from the radio and her wife humming enthusiastically along to it that filled the house. As Meredith followed it, she found Addison pouring two glasses of red wine at the counter with her back to the doorway.

Taking the opportunity, she approached her and circled her arms around her waist,

“Wh- oh! Honey you’re home.” came the soft reply as Addie turned in her arms and threw her own over the smaller woman’s shoulders, capturing her lips in an eager kiss before she could mutter a simple hello.

The song had come to an end by the time they separated, Addisons hands having found their familiar place in Meredith’s hair, just at the back of her neck, and Meredith’s settled on Addisons hips.

“How was wor- hmph- Meredith stop that!” She snipped, swatting at her wife with the towel when she nibbled just below her earlobe.

Addison slid from beside her and grabbed her glass.

“I’ll ask again, how was work?”

This time Meredith did answer, “work was work, blood, gauzes, bones, me, miraculously saving lives for 12 hours straight,” she spoke with a tired but certainly cocky grin, earning a playful eye roll as Addison ran her hands up and down Meredith’s arms.

“Oh, well, 12 hours certainly _is_ a long time, how about I draw you a bath whilst the pizza finishes cooking and we can eat it in bed?” She held out her hand and the blonde slipped her palm into it. Trailing behind the red head upstairs without a care in the world.

*************FB*********

For what felt like an eternity, nobody spoke. That was until Dr Mc Wavy Hair (no chance for formal greetings just yet…) whispered, “s-sorry, Grey as in, Meredith Grey? Like, this- my- MY Meredith Grey? No. Surely n- Meredith? Please tell me she’s some deranged woman who just escaped psych!” all whilst glaring accusingly at Addison, his tone getting harsher with every syllable.

His ramblings were finally cut short (much to Addison’s liking) when seemingly the woman of the hour grasped his arm with a harsh grip, which she appeared to realise and fixed it by looking at him lovingly, so lovingly that for a split second Addison could have cried right on the spot.

“Derek…” (ah, that’s his name) “Go-“ Meredith continued before she was cut off by a very anxious and angry red head,

“Go HOME, Derek.” She spat the last word like it was poison in her mouth and set her jaw, raising her chin slightly to give it that extra Montgomery kick and seal the deal.

“Addie, stop it.” Meredith huffed exasperatedly as if they were having a petty squabble.

At that, Derek looked up, maybe it was the way Meredith muttered that nickname or maybe it was the way Meredith sighed her name softly and looked up at her so pleadingly that did it. Well, whatever it was had caused Derek to shake his head, mutter something under his breath and storm out into the rainy car park. Leaving the pair who hadn’t said more than three words to each other in six months, alone.

Two sets of eyes followed Derek out of the doors and into the distance, both for completely different reasons of course. But it felt as though there was a mutual relief at his departure, not that it would make THIS any easier.

“What the HELL are you doing here Addison?” Meredith’s mopey but calm exterior seemed to have left along with Derek as she spun round to glare at the redhead who stood a fair few inch above her. The blonde’s hand still clutching at her briefcase with so much strength that if she were to let go of it, she might just make better use of it by slapping Addison across the face.

“Well, you would KNOW that had you been answering any of my calls.” Addison started, treading lightly with a snarky but quiet tone. When Meredith didn’t bolt at the sound of her voice, she continued and braved a step forward, her hand outstretching only an inch, “ _Mer_.”

That did it though, as Meredith reeled back and locked eyes with her “Don’t. You have _no_ right to be here, _no_ right to come into _my_ place of work and meddle with the life I built for myself after you broke mine,” she rushed out, “ that was YOU Addison, in case you had forgotten.” The words came out all sloppy and choked like she was barely holding back tears just from the sight of her.

Seeing the love of her life break so easily struck something in Addison that made her want to have scooped her up, held her, hugged her, kissed her, or just gazed into those ocean grey eyes she had missed so much. She could have told her that she hadn’t slept a sound night since she left, that she had to get new sheets because no matter what she did, she couldn’t rid them of the intoxicating scent of Meredith’s shampoo… she COULD have done all of those things.

But this was Addison freaking Montgomery, and she had to do this her way. So, with a half cocky grin, she strode forward and leaned down just enough that she heard Meredith’s breath catch as she spoke' “I think you mean, _our_ place of work, dear. See you Monday Mer.”


	3. chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Much more like greys in this. chapter as we return to the hospital and some others get involved in the standoff...
> 
> Are we team Addie or Derek??
> 
> Enjoy!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3!!
> 
> You guys have been so positive, please keep the comments coming with any feedback or what you would like to see I'll be sure to admit in.
> 
> Slightly different kind of chapter here, Enjoy!!
> 
> \- bea :)

“I think you mean, OUR place of work, dear. See you Monday Mer.” 

Meredith hadn’t slept more than a couple hours every night over her entire weekend off. The days she would usually spend eating, sleeping and actually having a minute without Bailey breathing down her back had been spent in fitfull sleep, restless nights and hours of alternating between knocking back Tequila shots and banging her head on the bar at Joes.

She had walked away from Addison on Friday night… strutted straight to her car, thankful for the heavy rain to mask the tears streaming down her cheeks.  
She hadn’t even managed to get into her house (well, her Mother's house) before she had to lean on the porch to steady herself before collapsing in a heaved sob.  
Dropping her bag and sliding down to clutch her knees to her chest, nothing but Addison’s words repeating in her head, she could see Derek’s broken expression, she could hear the underlying remorse in Addison's snappy comments and it was all _too_ much.

She had stumbled in, slammed the door, heaved herself upstairs, flopped on the bed. repeat. She'd repeat once more the next night until finally she arose on Monday morning… 4am, ugh.

Would Addison had stuck around? Did she even really _have_ a job at SGH? Was she here for her? Would she punch Derek the first time she saw him? Would Derek wanna talk? Not wanna talk? Would they completely avoid her? Should _she_ avoid _them_?  
The questions spiralled continuously and she hadn’t realised how long she had been staring at the wall until Cristina cleared her throat and pinched her forearm to bring her back to reality.

A reality that included George, Izzie and Bailey all staring at her pointedly, obviously awaiting some response..

“oH, sorry, what did you say George?” She asked in an attempt to play it off. 

“I think you’ll _find_ that my surname is not O’Malley, nor am I a _man_ , Grey,” Miranda snapped. That pulled her back to reality alright.

“Right right, sorry Dr Bailey,” she responded in a hushed tone, before turning to Cristina who was looking at her with her face scrunched up.

“AS I was _saying_ , rounds are in 10 and Yang you’re with Burke. Stevens head to neuro with shepherd. Karev. Robbins has requested you in PEDS. O’malley you’re in the pit, and Grey you’re with… ah Montgomery Gr-“ the resident stopped speaking and just stared at the sheet of paper, lips pursed in confusion.

The interns stood hesitantly, with quizzical expressions awaiting the end of her sentence.

“Grey. I'm with Addison Montgomery... (sigh) Grey,” Meredith finished for her with a dramatic sigh, her eyes closing just for a moment, knowing when she opened them, she’d be met with several sets of bewildered but accusing eyes. Which is exactly why she grabbed her pager and yanked the door open, slipping past the crowd of confused faces without another word.

Rounds were exhausting, taking way longer than usual. Having to dash down corridors, behind exam curtains and in and out of on call rooms just to avoid the five people she KNEW would have _many_ pressing questions for her to answer after her departure earlier on. This, of course had taken a toll on how long it took for her to get through the morning patients.

When she eventually ended her rounds, she waited out her inevitable doom in the residents lounge (somewhere she actually wasn't supposed to be but...desperate times.) She was nursing a cup of coffee when she heard an ongoing conversation coming closer and closer.

"No, Nae I'm being serious she couldn't even _look_ at me, I-if I can't get her to see- oh _shit._ " The conversation ended abruptly as the door opened and Addison was stood locking eyes with her wife. "Nae I'll have to call you back," she mumbled, slipping her phone into her pocket and crossing her hands in front of her.

  
"That was Naomi. She asked about you..." she started, trying to at least get Meredith's attention.

Meredith slammed the coffee cup down and stood up straight. "Yes well, you tell her I'm fine. Don't we have work to do? You did request _me_ after all, right?" She spoke with a numbness to her tone, walking towards the door to see their first patient. That was until Addison side stepped and blocked her exit with her body.

"Mer c-"

  
"Do not _Mer_ me."

Addison huffed but complied. "Doctor Montgomery Grey-" (maybe that actually hurt a little more) "-please can we JUST talk for a second? I've been here for FOUR days and we have barely had a conversation!"

"Well MAYBE because less than a year ago you were having a LOT more than having a _conversation_ with some MAN in our bed!" Meredith yelled so loudly Addison almost opened the door to see if anyone had stopped to listen in.

After a composed sigh, Meredith pinched the bridge of her nose and looked down. "Addison I- I _can't_ do this with you, not here, and not now. Can we just do our jobs, _please_?" She pleaded in such a small voice Addison barely heard her, but still, she nodded.

"Yes, I mean, of course I just... I need you to know that I came here because I am not ready to let. _this_. go. You are my life, I cannot allow one lapse in judgement to change that." With that, she stepped tentatively forward to invade her space just a little, "I am not going anywhere. I am here to stay." 

With that, the world around them came back and both women silently made their way to the door, opened it and stepped into the busy hallway. Glancing towards the nurses station, Meredith watched as both Izzie and Cristina looked between each other and the pair who had just ended their conversation (all of which they had obviously just heard). 

Addison noticed too, and cleared her throat. "Just, meet me in OR 2 when you're done." With a small and polite half smile towards Meredith's friends, she left.

Begrudginly, the blonde approached her overeager friends, immediately holding up her hands.  
"Okay, okay, before you start: That-" She started, gesturing towards the redhead as she left the corridor, "-is, Addison. Doctor Addison Montgomery Grey, she's uh, she's my wife." And _god_ if looks could kill then she would be dead, resurrected and dead again.

The duo just gawped at her for at least thirty seconds before Izzie broke the almost deafening silence. "How- When- she's uh-"  
"YOU"RE A LESBIAN?" Cristina all but yelled for the entire hospital to hear, causing Izzie to burst into a fit of laughter and Meredith's cheek's to redden. 

"I- well uh, you see, Addison and I-" She stuttered, clearly having no idea where to even start.

"Oh so now it's Addison and I?..." Came a low voice from behind her, and at that, Meredith really did want the ground to swallow her up. She bit her lip and slowly turned around, her gaze meeting a very tired, very disheartened Derek looking like a kicked puppy.

"Derek, we should, talk. We really need to talk, come on let's go in he-" she tried, just as her pager beeped against her hip,' 911, A.' Fuck. She looked up apologetically at the brunette. "Tonight, okay? Tonight at Joes, 7, okay?" She rushed out, not even waiting for his reply before she sped towards the OR.

"Well- sure 7 I-is fine."


	4. chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meredith and Addison hit the OR, bringing out the worst in Derek. We see how Meredith is going to handle the situation she has gotten herself into...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter!!
> 
> Getting to the good stuff now, prepare for a little more Merder this chapter, Meredith has got some stuff to work out.. It's a process but I promise our babies are going to be happy soon... kinda soon.
> 
> As always review and comment anything you would like to see and I'll be sure to add it next chapter!
> 
> I'm: @Gillieswalsh on twitter.
> 
> Enjoy!  
> \- Bea :)

"well- sure 7 I-is fine."

The first surgery was… eventful but successful. 

Their relationship may have changed but their talent certainly hadn’t. Much like at the practice in LA, they worked together like a well oiled machine.  
Meredith may only be an intern but place her across from Addison and she worked as well as a resident.

Addison was in charge, of course. She took the lead in their surgeries, Meredith mostly assisting her. But watching them match each others moves was magical, the blonde seemed to know exactly what the resident needed before she even had to ask for it.

This was noticed by every person overlooking from the gallery, especially Derek and Meredith’s fellow interns.

“Look at Mer GO,” Cristina commented in complete awe of her best friend performing surgery like she had never done when assisting Derek in the OR.

“Addison is- _wow,"_ George mumbled quietly to himself, well, not so much to himself as almost the entire ‘MAGIC’ posse turned to him with half smirks of disbelief

“Oh, has 007 got something for the new Grey goddess?” Izzie asked with a mocking glance towards him.

“Do NOT call her that.” A sharp tone came from behind them, Derek. He took a seat closer to the glass, taking in the view of his kinda sorta girlfriend making eyes as his apparent competition as both of them worked miraculously together, which did nothing for his jealousy.   
"She is not a goddess she’s… she’s satan.” He remarked, just as Addison’s hand’s stopped moving and for the first time, she looked up to the gallery for a brief moment before continuing her actions,  
“Dr Stevens,” Addison spoke, still proceeding to close the patient “Please will you turn _off_ , the intercom. It makes it all the more difficult to say lives if I have to hear bitter back talk over the top of it.” She spoke seemingly calm and collected but there was one person in that operating room who knew better, and that was Meredith.

Addison had never scrubbed out as fast once she had finally closed. She tore off her pink scrubs and threw them in the trash before striding out into the hallway and into an on call room with Meredith on her tail.

After the door was closed, the blonde spoke “Are you, um… are you alright?”  
Addison scoffed in response. “Well it’s my first week here and I’m already the devil so what the hell do you think Mer?” She rushed out sounding all too fed up.

“I know- I know, he was way out of line. I’m going to talk to him about it l-“  
“You’re seeing him?”  
“Well yeah - ju-“  
“As in, you’re going on a date with him, outside of work, tonight?”  
“Addison, look I like him okay.” She paused as she caught the pained look that crossed the redhead’s face, “I’m sorry but I do, we have been dating for a little while now I won’t just give that up because you decided to follow me to another state.” Meredith states much harsher than she intended.  
Addison apparently couldn’t listen anymore as she stood, wiped at her nose and pushed passed Meredith and stormed down the hallway.

The pair didn't see each other again that day. Meredith finished her shift and went home to change.  
Sporting a simple turtle neck and blue jeans, she waltzed into Joe's to find Derek waiting for her at the bar, looking all too impatient, which soon turned into eagerness when his gaze found her.  
She approached him wearing a Half smile and he stood to embrace her, his strong cologne smelling differently since she had been around around Addison's sweet perfume as of late.  
"You came." Derek whispered, clearly relieved.  
"I told you I would, didn't I?" Meredith took her seat and ordered a very needed drink, taking a long gulp and sighing with relief before turning to the brunette waiting for her.

"So, I figured we needed to talk," she started.  
"I am SO mad at you," he interrupted almost immediately, shaking Meredith's confidence. "I was falling for you, I AM falling for you and you were lying to me this whole time, about who you were, who you are. This other LIFE you had, the fact that you have a WIFE who chased you here to win you back I mean it's JUST-"   
He stopped once who noticed Meredith's eyes widening at his sudden angry outburst and gathered himself. 

'I am still angry with you, and for these past couple of days I have been trying to convince myself that I can just let it all go and move on from you. Let you be free and decide whatever without me waiting rfor you, it's probably what I SHOULD do but I just CANT, Mer. I have fallen in love with you, I cannot get you. I want you. I want you to stay with me, please don't leave me for Addison." He seemed to almost shudder as he said her name.  
She couldn't possibly stop his ramblings, he just kept going and going so she pulled out a tactic she used rarely but was always effective. She surged forward and kissed him, right there in front of everyone. Slipped off her barstool, threw her dainty arms over his shoulders and kissed him with all of the passion she could muster.   
He finally came to and slid his hands up her back, deepening the embrace for too much for everyone else's liking before she pulled away just an inch to whisper "Take me home with you."

It seemed like a perfect fix. They both could forget about Addison, the hospital, Addison, their work drama, and of course Addison, just for one night and Meredith had a distraction from her neverending thoughts.

A perfect fix.   
That was until exactly what Meredith had called it in her head as she climbed into a cab, then again as she pulled off his shirt, and once more when she felt him slump off of her and into a tired heap in the sheets besides her.   
It was a perfect fix until she caught the eyes of the one person she had been 'forgetting' about as she walked into SGH, her hand intertwined with Derek's and suddenly that perfect fix became her most recent disastrous mistake.


End file.
